A week ago my focus was to document recovery from my eating disorder. To my amusement it has been about recovery from alcohol instead. I know I have said before they come hand in hand, but my goal was to be a guide to others with eating disorders. I am sure however there are many like me who have just as many problems (?) if not more, so if anything, I hope they can look to me to show that with steps they can heal also.
Today will be short and sweet as I have a busy day planned, but wanted to document how I am doing. My birthday did not go as planned but I really enjoyed it. The friend whom I was going to go out with had some family troubles so we will spend Sunday together. My daughters parents took me out to Red Lobster. My daughter and I both had crazy hyper sugar rushes from a sundae. Today I will go and play video and board games with them . It was very low key which is the way I like it. Also, first birthday sober in a decade successful.
Today my emotions feel stable. My thoughts are still a bit chaotic but I feel in control. I still feel a haze but not detached. I do not feel so angry or emotional. Physically wise I feel well. If someone were to ask me how I am today and I respond, “I’m ok,” it would be an honest answer for once.
I know I shouldn’t count the days of sobriety but today is six. I took a before sobriety picture day one and a picture last night before I went out to eat and its interesting how much brighter my eyes are none the less skin. My face does not look so bloated and my eyes not so puffy. A week ago I was waking up after 11am hungover, drinking a mimosa to get straight enough to go visit my friends. Today I am having a cup of green tea while breakfast is cooking and have already showered and taken Bailey for a 45 minute walk, it is 930 am.
I have decided the best diet for me will be low carb for the time being. However, I will not be so obsessed with counting carbs as just making sure I am eating a lot of vegetables. I am thinking about a month of this and then gradually add healthy carbs. Sobriety is still my focus this coming month. If I know I feel better on a meat, veggie, and cheese diet than that is what my only focus will be on eating wise. The hard part of getting sober will be happening next for me and that is where I feel GREAT and tell myself a drink will make me feel even better, which is will, but it’s a short lived happiness.
Tomorrow is the start of a new week. Be good to yourself.