So today really sucked and there was no reason for it to. Work should have been very easy. I only had four shipments to do, so roughly three hours worth of work there and than paperwork for the rest. Easy, right? No! Because I have a bitch for a sidekick who has way too many insecurities and that she feels the need to always be in charge of something and some drama always has to go on for her to live. I am understanding more why her husband being a truck driver who is gone for days at a time works out well. I know I should be trying to feel empathy because after all, majoring in Psychology should mean I should have better understanding, and I try, but honestly being around so much negativity is exhausting. And it sucks because she can be very nice, but it is normally when she wants something, but that much niceness can’t be all fake, right? Because she showed sympathy towards me that one day I was hurt. But than she can be so nasty a lot of the time, and the only time she is decent to me is when her eyes are fixed on someone else. I am in such a confuzzled state of mind because I want to tell her off but I know that will solve nothing, maybe it will make her respect me more or to shut up, but than I feel guilty because she is just an older typical baby-boomer who is realizing how far she is being left behind in society. I am sure it doesn’t help that she lost her job of 27 years a couple years ago , thus why she came to work for the company we work at. She has so many insecurities. But she chooses not to see them, so should I feel guilty for feeling so frustrated? My manager told me to take a day off if I need to. I told him everything that has been going on and he completely understands. He said he couldn’t even be around such negativity all the time but she is also a very hardworking person. These feelings are just exhausting me. Why can’t I just be either a cold hard bitch or a really nice person who never questions? END OF RANT!
Well…that was my day. I had to let it all out. I finally talked to my manager about everything. I told him I love being a part of the company I work for and am proud of it, and I do not want to switch departments because I honestly like the work that I do and it works great with school. I do not want to quit at all so I just feel stuck. He completely understood and will talk to my coworker tomorrow…apparently he has had to before. It was weird going to a manager with my concerns and irritations, after all, I am used to management being the last people to go to. In the post office, management only looks out for themselves and I needed to know all my rights to protect myself from them, now I am supposed to do a 180. Maybe I do need to start trusting more. I have always been addicted to misery, it is comfortable. I am sure that is why I loved the post office so much in a weird way. However, I am having all these weird feelings of empathy and trying to understand people and not being afraid to ask for help or guidance. Its almost a mental fuck.
I said previously I would upload some pictures of my apartment so you could have a better idea of my style. I was going to do a lot more with my apartment but since I may not stay here as long as I thought, I do not know how much I will add. I normally do season décor, but I don’t know, I kind of just want to start budgeting and saving up for an affordable safe nice place, or even maybe a condo.
Either way, I like my style. In the office there is a cat tree and soon to be LOTR Posters on the walls. I have to be here till at least May though so might as well make it as homey as possible.
Well, sorry for the late blog. I was not sure what to write about since my mind was being so frustrated. It really did exhaust me. I was in bed by eleven last night and read a book a reader sent me (you know who you are, but I must apologize I am a slow reader and the tea kicked in pretty quickly, but its very interesting!) So I had a pretty damn good nights sleep. I woke up feeling great and got a start on homework. I had bacon, eggs, and coffee and took Bailey out. But than I got to work and my coworker was being her amazing self, so I don’t know, its exhausting. I actually stuck to my meat and veggies all day. I took a bath tonight with a little wine tonight to relax. I think I will watch some Netflix. If I take tomorrow off I will use it as a great opportunity to study and get caught up and ahead in some classes. I should donate plasma too. I tried to be as good to myself as possible today, and not too shabby honestly. If I feel I will not be good to myself tomorrow, than I will enjoy a day off. Sometimes you just need a break from bitches. Well, have a good night everyone!