It was another partially stressful day. I think I am making it known to my partner I will not partake in her crap anymore. I was trying to be passively aggressive but I think I may have been more aggressively passive if that makes any sense. Either way, she has some other girls not talking to me now, which is fine, because she is pretty much a 60 year bitter hag and if other young girls want to follow suit, that is fine. I am working in a different area half the time now anyways where I work with a guy who just minds his own business and is nice to me, so I consider it a win. Eventually they will see how negatively they are feeling and who the trigger is, if not, than they will become just as bitter.

Even though I am getting on the right track state of mind, I still had a pretty rough day with the b/p since I let my partner get to me. Even though I stood up to her its still stressful to always have my guard up. I need to start getting better at brushing her off now that I am working in other areas. Gawd, if only people knew how much I could b/p in a day, its quite disgusting really.

Tomorrow I will try to write more, I am finishing up making some soup right now. Tomorrow will probably be worst than today, but maybe I can use that to my advantage somehow, like keeping busy so I don’t b/p maybe if I can handle that. I don’t know much anymore. I am okay but just trying to figure all this shit out.

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