I feel as though I am stuck in the middle of two versions of myself. The first is the victim whos every move was a ripple effect of trauma and survival. The second is a future survivor who has beat all odds to become someone great. I feel as if I am in some sort of limbo at the moment.

I have always had trouble coming out of my shell and now I have opened myself up to the world, some may have critiqued, while many I know became followers whom I know hope I succeed. I just am not exactly sure what I hope to succeed on. Blogging has become great therapy for me, it has been a way to get my story out to the world, it also helped me find a lot more about myself. The hypnotherapy sort of sealed areas of me. I know I still have a couple sessions to do in January and I am looking forward to that. I have not had the little girl come out, I do not even feel her because she is a part of me now. I feel full but not tummy wise. It is a feeling in my chest and mind region. I feel like I am becoming whole.

Eating Wise

I ate great today and only semi purged once. I stuck to my meats, veggies, and a couple low carb snacks. I feel my tummy working. I always feel better with this way of eating as I have mentioned before. I also drank a lot of water.

What I Did For Myself

I took Bailey for a couple walks today and played fetch with him quite a bit. I still cannot do much in terms of exercise. I hope the doctor can do something tomorrow that will help my finger heal faster. I want to work out. I have noticed since strictly eating veggies and meat my knees feel a lot better. I also a did a ton of laundry today and washed all the boys blankets. I like that I am lucky enough to have non- shedding pets. I enjoyed time with my daughter and her parents. My daughters grandfather is not in the best of health these days so it is nice to try to be there the best I can for her parents.

Well, I have been typing a lot for school work the past few days and I would like to give my finger a break. I do find it very interesting how easy it is to learn to work without a finger. Even with typing my middle finger takes the place of my index finger fairly easily. Either way, this week should be a fairly busy week so I am going to hit the hay. I promise to be good to myself…as I mentioned yesterday, I just have to repeat this to myself ten times a day. I am not sure why ten, it just seemed like a good number.

 Well, Goodnight