I am starting to think these feelings are permanent. I feel myself building walls and pulling away. I don’t like feeling anxious and sad. It was my own fault for trying. I have only ever been wanted to the extent of a fuck or too late and told sorry, normally still after a fuck ironically. Although if that’s the only time I am touchable than what happens when I no longer let anyone? I suppose I am just alone as always. I am not sure how much longer I have here. I am stuck any way I turn these days. I feel like life will again one day make the pure happiness a taste and that whisk it all away. There are no longer paths, not even one. All I feel is an end, to what, I don’t know. I just don’t feel or sense anything ahead and for me, that is off.