We live in a cruel cruel world where people can only save themselves. But what if someone doesn’t want to be saved? What if the emptiness of being alone is too deep? At some point one can only handle their hearts being broken so many times. My feelings are always wrong to have. I do not have a purpose in this life, my only purpose was to give couples children and I have done that. As a child it was to be just a fuck toy for perverts. I am always upsetting and disappointing everyone around me. I do not see my daughter much these days. She does not need me. This week is her birthday, talk about feeling extra inferior with all the presents everyone is able to give her. I am happy for her though, she will never know poverty or welfare. She will never be a stupid loser who always has people give her that look of disappointment. It is easier to be alone. This is all too familiar. There is really no room for me in their lives anyways. The ticking has stopped but I can not sense anything ahead of me. I feel almost a weird sense of relief in a way, but I do not know why. This is my last push to survive.