“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”
Yesterday did not go as planned. I worked a 10.5 hr day and by the time I got home a beer sounded refreshing…and it was. I went to bed by 10 since I was exhausted. This was mainly disappointing to me because I told my readers I was staying sober for a month, so into the garbage went the rest of my booze this morning. I won’t hide anything from my readers, I never have and will not start. But here starts my month of sobriety. If I am exhausted by the end of today well then, theres meditation or bed.
” Set your goals high and don’t stop till you get there.”
I think when goals seem impossible, if we keep dreaming then we can never fail. Even at my lowest point in life I hung onto the dreams of being happy and stable. I think that is honestly what kept me alive. I do not think anyone truly wants to kill themselves, I think just sometimes those goals and dreams are forgotten. Hopelessness is easy to succumb to the easy fixes. All humans are at fault for giving into the temporary gratification, whether it be through eating, drinking, drugs, shopping, porn, drama, gossip, or anything else that makes one feel a false sense of happiness. Not saying all of these are bad, some are, but also some can be really good if balanced. The problem is we live in a society where it is really hard to balance these things because we are programmed to believe that consuming and materialism bring us happiness. We buy our kids tons of presents for birthdays and holidays, we eat and drink for any special occasion, and we party to congratulate. It is really easy to overlook how much we have. I am going a bit off on this because today our company announced we would all receive a 10% annual salary bonus. This combined with our last bonus this summer would make 18% that our company rewarded us with this year. I had already given up on getting any sort of bonus so this was really nice to wake up to. I am proud to work for a company that even though it has grown to the largest of its kind in the world, us little guys are still remembered and rewarded. I have many coworkers who were almost crying. Sure many of the people here are well off and will never have to worry about money, but there are also those of us that this is exactly what we needed to start the year off strong.
I have been keeping a lot more food down these past few days. I have a feeling this will get easier once I am completely rid of all the alcohol. I think it effects the body system for awhile. It would be nice to not be so constipated however. I am trying to eat more fiber and drink more coffee to help with this.
Well, it is Tuesday and today is looking a lot better than yesterday. I had better get going since my boss just walked in. Everyone have a good day, keep your goals high and keep on trotting!