I love these white skies, its like being in a dream, parts might be nightmares, but as long as its a dream I can wake up to the sun.
The sun would not be welcomed right now anyways. It’s easier to be patient in a dream.
”I can lie, say I like it like that, like it like that.” Billie Eilish
We are all meant to be where we are supposed to be. Readers who have followed me since the beginning know that I can make decisions on a whim to do something, sometimes literally out of nowhere. I wake up and have made a choice and I have this energy inside, like a tingle and burning that can almost make me feel crazy, but I need to do what I have decided. I thought maybe this was the BPD or the anxiety I had, but now I am thinking maybe not. Maybe that is my instinct of saying I needed to jump right then.
I was turned down for another position, its okay though. It was for a cannabis company just starting up I believe, chances are they couldn’t pay my asking wage anyways. I think what kept me from getting it was not knowing the various flowers or how to trim them, which I would learn easily, but oh well, their loss honestly lol.
I went to another employment agency this morning, with the jobs they have available I feel like I have a better chance of finding something I would enjoy through them than the other one I went to. I still have a couple applications out there I am hopeful for. I will get something, just have to be patient. Luckily I should get enough back on my income taxes to give me a little bit more breathing room on finding another job so I am not overly desperate.
I have been sick the past couple days, I think maybe I ate bad food at our company party. It’s a bummer because that night would have been the best work night because we literally got paid to eat for two hours and than after going back to work still had to take two breaks and a lunch. I was pretty bummed. I am feeling better, and luckily its my Friday 🙂
My calmest moments are sitting on my couch watching out the window at the white skies, incense burning, tea, crystals, Bailey laying on my lap.
White, my memories are always white, maybe thats why I like the skies.
I am holding on guys, I hope you all are too. Hopefully taxes benefit rather than hurt you this year. Tax rules or whatever don’t make sense to me, politics don’t make sense to me, the job market doesn’t make sense to me, the media’s hatred of Meghan Markle doesn’t make sense, hatred doesn’t make sense, The Turning ending makes absolutely no sense, only things that do make sense to me are tacos and family, although I suppose my idea of family wouldn’t make sense to a lot of people either. That is all today folks.