Interlude?

Big eyes stare up afraid, cold eyes glare down She wants her mom, where is her mom? Non-understandable pain, all too familiar Realism drifts away, her safe place appears Verity drifts back, she no longer wants her mom, Crying, anxious, angry, cold, big eyes lose their innocence, Other kids are taught to dream big, SheContinue reading “Interlude?”

Day 19- Side Thought

When anyone has ever asked me what my goals are in life I have always responded “to survive.” However now I am starting to realize that a goal of surviving means only to exist. After begging my body to let me die so many times I am realizing existing is not enough anymore. If IContinue reading “Day 19- Side Thought”

Day 14- Fluke

  I have been contemplating going back to college to finish up my associate degree. I am a few classes away from obtaining it, so I am weighing the pros and cons. I was going for Biology and Microbiology but flunked/dropped out because I was with an abusive ex (yes, stupid, and it was honestlyContinue reading “Day 14- Fluke”

Day 12- Short & Sweet

  I almost forgot how bad a full-blown anxiety attack can feel and last night was not the worst one I’ve ever felt either. I am still happy my daughter’s mom came over to hold me through the worst of it. I do not remember all of it except the pain and coldness. My firstContinue reading “Day 12- Short & Sweet”

Day 10 Baby Steps

  I felt a bit of hopelessness when I heard Demi Lovato overdosed on heroin. It is sad to think that someone who has access to the top of the line treatment facilities and had been sober six years can still relapse. I can only imagine the emptiness and failure she felt with her firstContinue reading “Day 10 Baby Steps”