Day 50- Frustration

I wonder if there will ever be a time in my life that I permanently want to live. Instead I feel like I am always fighting the depression of wanting to die. I know these feelings will always pass, normally after a few hours, sometimes after a week. I suppose there have been the timesContinue reading “Day 50- Frustration”

Pleasure

I am starting to believe this is all a test. I have been worried and scared for awhile, even when I did have a job, because I needed a second job to get caught up and ahead. I was becoming discouraged than, and after I lost my job, I felt completely helpless. At the crystalContinue reading “Pleasure”

Day 35- Last Day of Freedom

When life is going well, I do not have much to write about. I cannot say why I still b/p. It has to all be habit. I do not enjoy or like a lot of food I binge on, especially not in the excessive amount that I do. A cookie can taste amazing at firstContinue reading “Day 35- Last Day of Freedom”

No Real Subject

Another restless night. I suppose I should be happy though, 6 hours and 58 minutes of sleep and 70% sleep quality. Still only a 14% REM cycle and it happened pretty much all at once towards the end of my sleep rather than a cycle. I think I will be buying some melatonin. We allContinue reading “No Real Subject”

Insomnia Is Still Here

Insomnia is a bitch, but is it still insomnia when you can sleep for 12 hours but wake up 6 times and never hit more than 10 percent rem a night? I’m sure it is actually, I just don’t have my psychology books to confirm it. I activated my free trial for my sleep appContinue reading “Insomnia Is Still Here”